What Lurks Beneath

Every week we have a required seminar followed by a small group discussion that incorporates some of the less scientific aspects of medicine. Some of the topics touched on include ethics, contraception, women's health, and geriatrics. Today's talks were about stress and medicine. On seeing today's topic, I mentally rolled my eyes. The seminar touched on some common sense things, which was to be expected...not gonna bore the post (even more) with details.

Some interesting stats to me were: 50% of med students experience burnout at some point. Burnout's apparently defined as emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced sense of self-accomplishment. I've probably experienced each one of those at one point or another. The more shocking stat was that 11% of med students have contemplated suicide. I have not experienced that. The suicide stat is kinda surprising to me, though the burnout stat - not so much. The person leading the seminar works with several levels of students and commented on students' (de)evolution through school, with regard to personality, empathy, and cynicism. I can't say that I'd disagree with her assessment over even just the past 18 months. In stepping back, it's kinda sad how med school can take a bright and shiny M1 at orientation and grind them into something they're not.

After the seminar, we moved to our small groups for discussion and such. I'm in a pretty good group: everyone feels safe sharing ideas/opinions (there are some groups where this isn't the case). It's also a pretty diverse group: educational background (3 yr undergrads to M.S.), age (~me to ~30), ambition level (looking just to pass to going all out), and any other diversity metric of your choosing. The discussion eventually turned personal for several in our group.

I was pretty amazed at how several people had gone through significant things and/or needed outside help. I am definitely not passing judgment on anyone because we all have our own business to deal with. I'm more or less commenting on how well put-together some can keep it together on the surface while working through serious issues.

As a quick aside, I noted that some of these people were some of the more active members in our class: taking on extra responsibilities such as coordinating clinics, events, and boards. Props to them for that, but I couldn't help but wonder if there's too much on their plate. Aside from my laziness and probable incompetence, the stress that accompanies such positions is one reason I don't gun for them.

Anyway, I consider myself lucky to have such a good support system in place with friends and family, because I'm not the type who would openly admit to needing outside help. That said, I realize I don't have things all that bad. Luckily, I've never considered myself burnt out or depressed. Stressed out and jaded at times, for sure. But that'll come with the territory. Some of my cohorts have dealt with real issues: personal, social, academic, or medical. In a bigger picture view, there are people worse off than us in this world. Head over to Iraq or Darfur and that puts things in perspective. This isn't to marginalize what my classmates or anyone goes through, but it helps to place things on a continuum of shittiness.

As a closing comment, I realize all this stuff happened when I signed up for med school - I'm neither not that naive, nor am I trying to score pity points. I just wasn't really attuned to its prevalence or the reality of these issues. It's pretty sobering to hear stories from faculty about themselves and their students. Even moreso to witness it firsthand in my classmates. It's so much more real with stories and faces to go with words like burnout, stress, and depression.

On a lighter note, two weeks out from being done for the semester!